My Captor, My Love Read online

  We got back on our horses and headed in the direction of Devil's Postpile. It seemed so prehistoric to me, a pile of tall hexagonal posts of volcanic basalt. I'd seen them last year, but they were just as astonishing this time. I had a total "wow" moment just sitting there.

  Getting back on our horses, we took a long trail toward Minaret Falls before doubling back to get on the John Muir trail. We traveled for a couple hours and the horses finally settled in and didn't act up too much anymore. Ben pointed out different animals, flowers, and trees to us. We were having a beautiful ride. I kept lifting my face to the sun and taking deep breaths. "Ahhh, tranquility," I said, and sighed.

  It had to be close to noon because I was starting to get hungry. I didn't have my watch on because I didn't want to care about tie while I was there. We came into a small clearing next to a stream and Ben stopped the horse. He helped some of us dismount and I was glad I wasn't the only one to groan and walk stiffly. After he gave us our backpacks, Tamara and I picked a large, flat rock to sit down on and eat our lunch.

  "Dani, you really look peaceful, I guess the ride's just what you needed. Now we have to find you a man. That's what you really need. Maybe rocking in that saddle for hours will motivate you."

  I quickly looked around to see if anyone could hear her. "Shh! But you just might be right." I laughed. "Ahh…I feel like I'm in heaven. I was daydreaming about moving here. Do you think they need nurses at the hospital in town?" I was leaning back on my hands with my face turned toward to sun and my eyes closed.

  "You're not serious, are you? No, you wouldn't give up working with Karen."

  I was sure she was squinting at me with her ice blue eyes under a straight slash of eyebrows, but she had her sunglasses on that blocked even the tiniest peek. I'd always thought Tamara would look cold, harsh even, if it wasn't for her bee stung lips. I remembered the boys trailing after her in high school. Hell, they still did.

  "Yeah, that's true. Besides, we wouldn't get to hang together as much if I moved here and I'd miss you, my TamTam," I said with a pat to her cheek. "Right now I just want to enjoy myself. I don't want to think about anything." I sat up to eat my apple.

  Tamara held her hand up for a high five, "Ditto that, sweetie."

  Closing my eyes, I leaned back to face the sun again and thought of Karen. We'd been friends since we were three. Our mothers had been best friends and our two families had always done things together--until Karen's mom died of cancer when we were seniors in high school. That's when we decided to go into nursing. We'd originally started working the oncology floors at different hospitals, but that brought back too many sad memories. I remember when I suggested we should switch to labor and Delivery, work with the beginning of life instead of the end of it. I was glad when a space opened up a couple of years ago and I was able to join Karen at St. Joseph's in Orange.

  We finished our lunch and I started to wiggle around because I had to go to the bathroom so bad. "My bladder's about to burst, I'll be right back," I whispered. I grabbed my backpack and headed into the trees. But everywhere I stopped I was visible, so I walked deeper into the trees and headed for the base of the mountain next to a waterfall. I finally found some large boulders I could just squeeze behind, and past them I moved to an area near the waterfall where it was drier. "Perfect." I could use the rock wall as support.

  I was zipping up my jeans when I thought I saw something, someone. Behind the waterfall, there was a man. Watching me. He was partially hidden behind a boulder.

  "Uhhh, how long have you been there?" I felt my face turn twenty shades of red. He didn't say a word. Maybe he didn't hear. The waterfall's loud. I could barely see him in the shadows. "How rude can you be? Did you just sit there and watch me?" My voice started to rise. "You could have let me know you …were…th…"

  He slowly stood up and I could see him better. He had no expression on his face. Geez, he's gorgeous. I lost my train of thought completely.

  He kept getting taller and taller. He was already standing on a ledge above me, but I could still tell he had to be well over six feet. His lips were beautifully sculpted. He had a strong jaw with a cleft in his chin. My eyes moved down to his chest and I saw an American Indian bead plate. Wait, what? My brain didn't seem to be working correctly. He had no shirt on. My eyes wandered down further…ohhh, he's ripped…and I was shocked to see him wearing a breech cloth. What seemed like minutes was actually only a few seconds, and I realized I'd been standing there with my eyes bugging out.

  My mind snapped back on, along with my indignation. "Oh, are you out here playing cowboys and Indians? Well play on," I said, loud enough I hoped he could hear. "And try to learn…some…manners." Another man playing Indian slowly stood up next to the first. Damn, what are you, models? They looked enough alike that they had to be related.

  I suddenly got an uneasy feeling. They both stood with their legs slightly spread and their arms crossed over their chests, not making a sound or express. I was out there all alone and I wasn't sure how far I'd walked away from the others, so I slowly turned to walk away--and ran smack into another man playing Indian. He was not a model. His face wasn't blank. He stared at me with either disdain or lust, I wasn't sure. Bad. This is bad. I started to walk backwards, away from him.

  "Look, I'm sorry. What, are you shooting a movie? Did I mess it up?" I could hear the shaking in my voice. His eyes traveled from my face to my feet and back to my face again. I tried to be strong. I stood up straighter, put my chin in the air, and took a step forward, "Move out of my way…please."

  He sneered and grunted. My heart went into overdrive. I couldn't see a way to pass by him--there was no room. "No," I whispered. I turned to run for the cave behind the waterfall, away from all three men, when another man stepped out from behind a boulder and I ran into him at full speed. He grabbed my upper arms and just as I was about to scream, he turned me in his arms, pressed me back tightly to his chest, and covered my mouth with one huge hand.

  The other three were within feet of me. I was held so tightly I couldn't move. They gestured and said something I couldn't understand; I had a hard time hearing because of the waterfall. The first guy looked at me and then at the guy behind me. He jerked his head toward to back of the cave. The scary guy started to grab for me so I pushed myself back against the one holding me. The first guy stopped him; they seemed mad at each other. Luckily, the scary once took off, heading up the ledge I saw earlier.

  The others turned toward the back of the cave and I started to struggle and fight in earnest. I tried to bite the hand and claw at skin, but only a few seconds passed before I stopped struggling because he'd pulled in his hold on me so tightly I couldn't breathe. The first guy looked at me, still without expression, and held up his finger. He slowly moved his head and finger back and forth; then he held out his hand to me.

  I closed my eyes and slumped in pretend resignation. The man holding me let go, and as fast as I could I struck out to slap the man in front of me. But before my hand got half way, he grabbed both of my hands and yanked me against him. He held both my hands in one of his behind his back so the fronts of our bodies were completely together. His body was hard as rock. I noticed he didn't have his chest plate on anymore. Looking at him up that close was--he was more than gorgeous. His lips were almost too beautiful for a man; they were full, perfect. He had a natural, strong arch in his eyebrows. I couldn't see the color of his eyes because there was hardly any light, but I could see how his eyes roamed over my face. Once again he held up his finger, slowly shaking it and his head. Then he quickly spun me around so he was behind me while holding tightly to my rib cage; my arms were trapped within his. No…

  I was in trouble. They were going to take me.

  Chapter 3

  He dragged me along with him, climbing higher into the cave, and every time I started to yell, he'd squeeze the air out of me or clamp his hand over my mouth. One of them had my backpack and shoved it through a narrow crevice at the top of the cave.

/>   No…please…I can't go through that. But he wouldn't allow me to struggle or yell out. The others went through the crevice. One of them, the relative, stuck his head and arms back out toward me, and I was pulled and pushed through so fast that I couldn't do anything. He held me tightly while the first guy came through, who then turned and used a rock to cover the hold. No, don't cover! They won't find me!

  When he stood up, he pulled me back into his arms and I swear I heard Tamara calling my name. I had my lungs filled to scream, but once again a hand was clamped over my mouth. I was able to get part of a finger in my mouth, and I bit down hard. He grunted and moved his fingers to pinch my nose so I couldn't breathe. When I let go of his finger, he immediately let go of my nose, but he still held his hand cupped over my mouth. I tried to turn so I could fight him, kick him, but he just squeezed me until I couldn't breathe. He loosened his hold as soon as I stopped struggling. Shit.

  I half-walked and was half-dragged deeper into the cave while struggling to stop our progress forward, but I couldn't. Every time my feet would stop against something, he'd just lift me up. All I could do was grunt or say, "No." He'd squeeze me before I could get anything else out. I could hardly see a thing. The others were up ahead with a torch. Sometimes I could see a little in their pool of light, but I couldn’t see where to put my feet.

  The sound of the waterfall became fainter. At one point we came to some water and I felt us going deeper. He still held me around the waist, but left my arms free. Suddenly I couldn't feel the floor, and the freezing water made me gasp. He lifted me high against his body and my head was just above water. I began whimpering. Not deep water, please. I was afraid of deep, dark water; I had always wondered what was down there. My terror took hold of me and I quickly twisted in his arms so I could grab a hold of him with my arms and legs. My throat tightened up on me, I could barely breathe, I couldn't even scream.

  I became aware again after we were out of the water. He was standing with me attached to him like a monkey. Great. I was glad I couldn't see his face and he couldn't see mine. His hold on me loosened so that I slowly slid down his body until I touched the ground. I was embarrassed, scared, cold, shivering, and could barely see. Then anger replaced fear. I felt him grab the collar of the shirt I had on over a tank top, and he quickly pulled it off me. I let out a yell and started hitting, kicking, and scratching him. "Damn you, lemme go, stop touching…let me go, I wanna go back," I screamed.

  He grabbed both of my hands with one of his while his other hand grabbed the hair at the back of my head and brought me close to him. My head was twisted back and his mouth came down to mine. Since I was in the middle of screaming it was easy for him to shove his tongue in my mouth, but he drew it out faster than I could bite down. I was backed up to something solid and he let go of my hair only to grab my jaw while I kept yelling and squirming, trying to get away from the assault I knew was coming. He held me like that for what seemed like a couple minutes.

  I felt him gently lick my lips. His tenderness was as much of a shock as an assault. I stood still in surprise and heard what sounded like a hum coming from him. Slowly he let go of my jaw, licked my lips once more, and then lightly tapped his finger against them. I understood that. I understood I'd better be quiet and not struggle. I saw him barely shaking his head. I also knew what the punishment would be.

  We walked for a while longer. He lifted and carried me over boulders. When we went through what felt like tunnels, I thanked God that I couldn’t see well where I was; with my claustrophobia I'd freak out if I saw that I was closed in tight. Sometimes we walked where he held me directly in front of him and I could hear pebbles rolling down a hill on one side. I knew that we had to be high and I was too scared to struggle in case I might cause us to fall. Finally I saw more light ahead, but at least another twenty minutes passed before we got out of the cave.

  I was grateful to be out in the open air again. The heat of the sun felt wonderful, though I was still shivering and wet. It felt like I was back to reality until I turned my eyes back to my captors. The first man had my shirt tucked into his breech cloth and one of the others had my backpack. The mean one tried to reach for me again so I moved behind the one holding me. When the mean one started ranting and gesturing, pointing at me, and then pointing at himself, I was scared--he wanted me. His words sounded like an actual American Indian language. The one holding me seemed relaxed and he only said a few things. Eventually the mean one walked away.

  "Listen, you can't do this. You can't get away with this. Tamara's going to have the police swarming all over. She has her cell phone…they don't have to look for a ranger station." I heard the panic in my voice. They ignored me and started walking away from the cave. The one I'd seen first, who had kept me with him, I thought he must be in charge. He held my wrist in a firm grip and dragged he along behind him. I looked back toward the cave for safety but knew I couldn't go in there again and get back to the other side of the mountain.

  "Oh, I know…this is a joke, right? I'm getting Punk'd? Hello…? No…? This is crazy, what're you going to do? What's with your get-ups? What do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Why don't you talk to me? Do you speak English? Habla ingles? Look, maybe we can work this out." I knew I was babbling.

  My bladder was killing me again. I can't pee in my pants. I can't pull them down, what if they…no, if they were going to, they would've done it already. "Hey, I need to stop." They ignored me. "Did you hear me? Hellooo, I need to stop. I have to go to the bathroom." Again, nothing. I finally stopped dead, digging my heels into the dirt, and ended up falling forward onto my knees because he was still holding my wrist. It felt like my shoulder was being ripped from its socket. He stopped and turned to look at me before helping me stand back up.

  I rubbed my shoulder. "I. Have. To. Go. To. The. Bathroom." I gritted my teeth while talking slowly, hoping he would get it. I stood up and put a pleading look on my face, "Please, now…bathroom." My one free hand cupped my lower abdomen and I wiggled, trying to get him to understand.

  Apparently I succeeded; he dragged me a couple of feet away to a bush and pointed. I looked back at the other men, and then I looked at him and shook my head, "No way, not here." I pointed farther into the woods. He sighed and walked me a few more yards away, let go of my hand, and pointed at the ground.

  I pointed at the other men, "Make them turn around." I guessed he understood because he said something to them, definitely not Spanish, and they turned away. He pointed at the ground again then crossed his arms over his chest and stood with his legs spread apart, watching me. I could see the marks where I'd scratched him. His body was unbelievable, perfectly sculpted. I knew I wouldn't be able to circle his arms with my fingers if I tried. Trying not to look at his body, I brought my gaze to his eyes. Green…fleck of brown…beautiful marble. Damn. I couldn't look him in the eyes either; he was gorgeous all male. I looked away.

  "You turn around too," I said looking back at him, but he just kept staring at me with his gorgeous eyes, so I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows. "Turn around," I circled my finger around and pointed at him. He shook his head.

  "Well, you sure have that translation down pat," I mumbled. I could've sworn he almost smiled, or maybe it was a smirk. No, he still had a stone face. He took two quick steps away and turned to the side, but I was sure he could still see me in his periphery. Oh, well, he probably watched me last time. Besides, I'd watched and helped lots of people go to the restroom and I was about to burst. I quickly unzipped my jeans and struggled pulling them down since they were still wet. I leaned my back against the tree and went about my business. When I was done, I could barely pull my jeans u because of their dampness, and I was also still shivering.

  Adam--I decided to call him that since I'd seen him first--said something to one of his buddies. One of them walked over with a blanket and I wondered where he'd gotten it. He gave the blanket to Adam, who then held it out to me. I started to take it, but he shook h
is head and pointed at my jeans and top, gesturing that I should take them off.

  My eyebrows rose all the way up. "What? No way!" I tried to grab the blanket but he raised it in his fist and I flinched away from him. I was mad at myself for showing weakness, but I'd thought he was going to hit me. He shook his head and slowly reached his arms up to put the blanket over my shoulder and held it closed in front of me. I felt him gently touch my jeans and my top; once again motioning that I should take them off.

  "No thanks," I smiled. "I'm good. See?" I rubbed my clothes with the blanket.

  He just stood still and stared at me, his eyes roamed over my face. I didn't know what he would do next; his expression didn't give me any clue. He just had a chance…my pants were down. He didn't attack me. What do they want?

  He turned and walked away, pulling me with him. The other men had horses with them, and Adam lifted me up on one before hopping up I front of me. His back was huge. I couldn't believe the span of his shoulders.

  Before I thought to jump off, they quickly rode away from the cave and I was afraid to fall off so I grabbed his waist, solid muscle. My chest kept hitting his back but I didn't know what to do about it; I couldn't let go of him to hold myself because I was afraid to fall off. I tried sitting closer but that seemed too intimate; the tops of my thighs were bumping into the backs of his. Everything I did made me feel uncomfortable.

  After a long while, they finally slowed the horses down to a walk and I immediately let go of him, set my hands on my legs, and scooted away. When I looked behind me and tried to see the cave entrance, I couldn't. I looked up and thought I could possible go back over the top of the mountain; I had to try something. I had to get away immediately, and I hoped the blanket would protect me from scratches when I pushed hard against his back, flew backwards off the horse, and landed on my hip and upper arm Luckily I didn’t hurt myself too much. I scrambled up as fast as I could and started running and screaming.